While in group therapy the therapist calls me out on not needing to be there. Which, I tell him my therapist suggested I come here. He then responds, “Do you always do what people tell you to?” Which he said with so much confidence I don’t think he even realized he was actually suggesting I should be non-compliant with my doctor.
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But then my husband wanted to play Magic: The Gathering, and then I realized: this was the way I was going to exercise my lagging brain. If you are unfamiliar with Magic; it’s a complex game. To put it nicely.
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During the course of my research, I found that tapering off this medication is incredibly delicate because these type of pills rewire the way your brain works. If you remove the medication too quickly your brain gets upset. Really upset.
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I ate a deviled egg today and apparently the coldness and density of the deviled egg was too much for my body because I immediately started sweating and getting stomach cramps due to a vagal surge. Now, it’s Sunday night and I am filled to the brim with absolute dread knowing I have to go to work tomorrow and I have no idea what person I will wake up as.
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I have actually experienced medication withdrawal before. One time I had to go cold turkey off two psych meds because of an insurance snafu they refused to resolve for months. Even so, I have never experienced withdrawal symptoms like this.
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The first week to two weeks seemed to be going okay. I felt a little strange and had some minor symptoms of withdrawal, but was overall okay. Then week three hit and I realized, after my sinus surgery cured my 20-something year stint in fight or flight (FOF) mode, I was right back in it because of the withdrawal.
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