It was posited to me that my issues with allergies might not have been because I genuinely had an enormous problem with allergies, but because, only with so much going wrong with my body pre-surgery, it became a notable issue. Basically, when you’re hanging on by a thread, a minor inconvenience is going to hit way different than it would if you were having a good day.
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Observations About Week 6 Post-Op
Although I’m still not 100%, the fog of cognitive confusion is truly lifting. I find myself able to follow complex tasks and I’m even forgetting less. It’s a relief to know the haze I have been living in for so long is not permanent.
Continue readingGhosts of Spice Past
Come to find out, when you have chronic sinus inflammation and the cornucopia of problems I had with sinuses, it can change how you experience spices. Namely, spice hurts. Every Scoville level higher is torture and there is no flavor when there’s heat. There is only heat.
Continue readingChasing Wisps of Thought
I have always had tiny traces of cognitive issues. I would forget things that had just happened. I wouldn’t be able to piece together my day and wind up being unprepared for what’s ahead. I couldn’t figure out how to navigate cities for the life of me. Even one I was familiar with.
Continue readingEvil Genius Laugh
I found myself at a crossroads: the idea of me contacting my abusive mother to tell her she may the same medical condition I did was utterly unthinkable. But the idea of me keeping this entirely to myself when I do believe she has lived in chronic pain her entire life, also made me deeply uncomfortable. Now what?
Continue readingHealing Lingers…
Now I am two and a half weeks into recovery and I want to throw myself off a building. Because not only is my healing requiring far more time than I can spare, but we have been having what feels like non-stop storms which makes a lot of my symptoms worse because I am still sensitive to barometric pressure changes.
Continue readingThe Mother Wound Throbs on Mother’s Day
I knew I did not miss my own mother. Cutting off contact removed my vain hope she would one day become someone she was not and actually be a good mother.
Continue readingSpinning a Protective Yarn
A friend recently told me something. Something that didn’t make sense. When I heard it, I first thought it was her covering for her emotional abusive and neglectful partner whom she is unfortunately still entangled with. I asked her about it later, lightly pointing out that what she said didn’t made sense. She responded an hour later with another explanation that made even less sense.
Continue readingThe Only Thing I Can’t Stand: Seeing My Old Self in Others
I used to be an insecure person. In fact, insecurity ruled my entire life. My personality was fear. I had no boundaries, because I couldn’t stand the thought of saying no to someone. Anyone.
Continue readingWe Got Our Deposit Back!
When we put in the dispute, even Navy Federal told us it would be highly unlikely we would get anything back. When I Googled it, one search result estimated our odds of getting all of our money back was around 10%.
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