When I think about it, I never thought the year I turned 40 would be the year I became who I actually am without physical illness and without diagnoses of mental illness that no longer fit. This leaves me only one question now: What am I going to do for 41?
Continue reading
I am filled with the finest dread for tomorrow. Today I woke up with a migraine. On top of still being stuck in fight or flight, I also feel shaky and headachy. I can barely stomach the idea of trying to sleep tonight because even without all of this looming in front of me, I am finding it difficult to fall asleep, stay asleep, and not wake up before 4am.
Continue reading
I actually feel really good about this. Not entirely sure why. Maybe I don’t have anything left to feel right now. Who knows? I am excited to see where this goes and quite frankly, if it all goes terribly wrong, how will I even know?
Continue reading
But then my husband wanted to play Magic: The Gathering, and then I realized: this was the way I was going to exercise my lagging brain. If you are unfamiliar with Magic; it’s a complex game. To put it nicely.
Continue reading
I feel as though I was thinking about the test results conceptually. Now I am right back in survival mode. What do I care if someone labels me one thing or another?
Continue reading
During the course of my research, I found that tapering off this medication is incredibly delicate because these type of pills rewire the way your brain works. If you remove the medication too quickly your brain gets upset. Really upset.
Continue reading
I cannot even begin to explain my utter frustration when you are having a panic attack, gasping, clawing at your throat, and someone or some search engine just tells you to breathe deeply. The idea of dealing with what feels like the most enormous problem possibly ever with a few deep breaths is absolutely infuriating.
Continue reading
Sometimes I go into my Google Docs and I’m like, oh yeah, I wrote all this stuff. Here is a random smattering of poems circa 2017-8.
Continue reading
I love wedding groups. The drama, the emotions, when things go right, when they get completely off course… These young women are having their first go at project management. Will they succeed? Or fail? There’s fun for the whole family!
Let’s take a look at what the brides are up to today.
I ate a deviled egg today and apparently the coldness and density of the deviled egg was too much for my body because I immediately started sweating and getting stomach cramps due to a vagal surge. Now, it’s Sunday night and I am filled to the brim with absolute dread knowing I have to go to work tomorrow and I have no idea what person I will wake up as.
Continue reading