A friend recently told me something. Something that didn’t make sense. When I heard it, I first thought it was her covering for her emotional abusive and neglectful partner whom she is unfortunately still entangled with. I asked her about it later, lightly pointing out that what she said didn’t made sense. She responded an hour later with another explanation that made even less sense.

I didn’t push any further.

I knew she was lying. She knew she was lying. She was covering for the abusive partner again and she knew telling me the truth would force her to look at her and the partner’s behavior head on, and she was clearly not ready for that.

The reason why I understand this so intimately is because I did the same thing for many different abusive partners. When you know they are in the wrong, the last thing you want to do is admit it. Because admitting it requires reflection and then action. When that seems inconceivable, you just sit in the middle of the road like a turtle, pretending the cars will never come.

The good news is that I know she is going to get there. The veil will be lifted and she will be able to look at what’s going on for what it really is. She’s smart. She already knows. She is going to get there.

Until then, I’ll occasionally point out when things don’t make sense. That this abuse doesn’t exist in an oxygen-less vacuum and it doesn’t have to exist at all. I’ll support her in all things that do make sense. And hope there comes a time when she sees this partner for exactly who they are. Then she can decide she deserves more.