Schedule for tomorrow:

• 8:15am: Arrive at Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) to meet with the therapist I’ve been assigned to
• 9am – 1pm: First day of PHP (group therapy, classes on coping skills, art therapy, etc.)
• 2pm: Psych test results

So yes, I went to my intake interview for the Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and I was put into the PHP program instead. Which is more intensive and more time consuming. 20 hours per week, instead of 9. But I don’t really feel like I’m in the position to argue with any medical professionals right now as I’m finding it difficult to concentrate well enough to have a conversation.

I am filled with the fanciest dread for tomorrow. Today I woke up with a migraine and had to max out all my entire migraine medication regime before it went away, hours later. On top of feeling generally like crap and still being stuck in fight or flight, I also feel shaky and headachy. I can barely stomach the idea of trying to sleep tonight because even without all of this looming in front of me, I am finding it difficult to fall asleep, stay asleep, and not wake up before 4am.

But tomorrow will arrive and I will drive to the clinic, arriving early. Because that’s the only thing I can do right now. And maybe, just for once, as Faithless sings, Everything will be alright tomorrow.