More Than 2014 (Excerpt from Polaris)

I’ve been working on an old book and a new book at the same time. Releasing an expanded edition of Into Love & Out Again is something I’ve always wanted to do. Unfortunately, going back through the emotional rollercoaster that is that book was quite taxing. To be honest, I wasn’t even reading the manuscript word-for-word when I was doing the formatting, either.

Eight years ago I started writing a book about falling in love with a person who didn’t feel the same way about me. Today, the world is a very different place. I started writing about the process of reliving these feelings in my new book, Following Polaris. I ended my essay on the subject with the following words:

When I look around, I realize, I have everything I wanted back in 2014. From my relationships to my job to even my adorable trouble-making kitty cats. I created my own happiness, albeit slowly and with many mistakes and therapy appointments in between. 
I wondered what my next steps were in 2022 and beyond. Clearly, more therapy. Because there’s still more progress to be made. More writing. Because that’s what makes me feel alive. More loving and being loved by my husband. Because that gives me peace. More being the person I am and the person I will become. Because maybe my goal in 2014 was to survive and I was made for more than scraping by.

Excerpt from Scraping By (an essay from the forthcoming book, Following Polaris)