Facebook default user photo

Him: wlc

Me: Welcome to what?

Him: To friend ship

When I changed my profile picture from a Hello Kitty cupcake to a picture of myself, I started getting friend requests from random men. Because I’m entirely too indiscriminate for my own good, I generally accepted these requests. The above snippet of conversation as between myself and one of these men. So far none of them have had anything to say for themselves that I haven’t already heard from OkCupid. But one thing all these men have in common is their desire to be my friend.

I find it very strange to see men informing me that we’re going to be friends. Mostly because you don’t just announce to someone that they’re going to be your friend and expect that putting that thought out into the universe will make it so. But also because they’ve told me their idea is that friendship will automatically lead to a romantic relationship. As if they’ve outsmarted other men who message women that they’re DTF and ascended to a much higher plane of dating expertise.

Amusingly enough, these men don’t even bother reading my profile or looking at any of my copious posts. One man assured me we would make a great couple and then asked me if I was single. Which is not only on my profile, but something you should probably check before making a statement like that. Just how interested are you in dating someone if you can’t be bothered to even check if they’re already in a relationship?

Back to the ship of friends. After the last incident (he blocked me after I unfriended him, by the by. Because blocking someone who doesn’t want to talk to you anyway will really show them what’s what), I decided to change my profile picture to something that wasn’t me. I changed it to a starry sky, only to get another friend request from a random man a few minutes later. I declined the request and reported it as spam. Which I will be doing to everyone I don’t know from now on.

It’s not better to announce you’re entitled to someone’s friendship because it sounds nicer than announcing that you’re entitled to be their romantic partner. Men are not entitled to anything when it comes to women. Not their bodies, their time, their attention, or their consideration. In a world where women are shot for during men down, it’s time to start making it clear that women owe men nothing. Period. Full stop.

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